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Notice: Undefined index: nume_categ in /home/newfreeg/public_html/cadouribancuri.ro/banc_afisare.php on line 11
 Bancuri An arab at airport:
- Name?
- Abdul AlRazhib.
- Sex?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no, I mean male or female.
- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, dog, even sheep.
- But isn’t that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no, deer run to fast!
[ Banc trimis de Catalin ]
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Nota banc: 9.56 (din 63 note acordate) - Acorda o nota pentru banc

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 Bancuri In a plane the flight attendant explaint to the pasangers what to do in case of emergency:
--In case of emergency place your head between your legs, then kiss your ass good-bye!
[ Banc trimis de Noyb ]
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Nota banc: 9.5 (din 2 note acordate) - Acorda o nota pentru banc

Notice: Undefined index: nume_categ in /home/newfreeg/public_html/cadouribancuri.ro/banc_afisare.php on line 11
 Bancuri Dear Mother and Dad:

It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you are sitting down... Okay?

Well, then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival, are pretty well healed now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get three headaches a day.

Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm and he was the one who called the Fire Department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital, and since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out dorm, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but it is kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.

Yes, Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the same love and devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection which prevents us from passing our premarital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am now taking daily.

I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and although not well educated, he is ambtious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know you expressed tolerence will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin color is somewhat darker than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good, too for I am told that his father is an important gunbearer in the village in Africa from which he comes.

Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or skull fracture, I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged, I do not have syphillis and there is no boyfriend in my life. However, I am getting a "D" in History and an "F" in Science, and I wanted you to see these marks in the proper perspective.

Your loving daughter,
Dorothy
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Nota banc: 9.34 (din 32 note acordate) - Acorda o nota pentru banc

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 Bancuri God was sitting in heaven one day when a scientist said to Him, "God, we don't need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing - in other words, we can now do what you did in the beginning."

"Oh, is that so? Explain" replies God. "Well, " says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of you and breathe life into it, thus creating man."

"Well, that's very interesting, show Me."

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil into the shape of a man.
"No, no, no" interrupts God, "Get your own dirt."
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Nota banc: 9.14 (din 14 note acordate) - Acorda o nota pentru banc

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 Bancuri Johnny asks grandpa: Do you still have sex with granny?
Grandpa says: Yes, but only oral.
Johnny asks: What is oral?
Grandpa says: I say fuck you, she says fuck you too !
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Nota banc: 9 (din 1 note acordate) - Acorda o nota pentru banc

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 Bancuri A scottish died when he was 62 because of cancer. His wife buried him in a proper grave, on which she wrote: RIP (Rest in peace). When the will was read, everyone found out that the scottish had left his fortune to the orphanage. Then, his wife added to the grave: ”Until I will join you!”
[ Banc trimis de Myrciulik_maestro ]
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Nota banc: 8 (din 5 note acordate) - Acorda o nota pentru banc

Notice: Undefined index: nume_categ in /home/newfreeg/public_html/cadouribancuri.ro/banc_afisare.php on line 11
 Bancuri A group of feminists are protesting in front of the White House:
- Free women now! Free women now!
A man passsing-by asks:
- Can I have one?
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Nota banc: 7.75 (din 8 note acordate) - Acorda o nota pentru banc

Total: 11
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